Hayden's Recent Rantings

• After finding a lost book under his changing table, "Look what I found mom! I've been looking for this for five years!"
• Moments after getting in trouble for whining, "I'm not big yet like you, I'm just a little boy." As if that explains his behavior.
• The automated Purell bottle at school has a big sign "Adults only". Hayden loves to use it on the way out. After I tell him what the sign says, he replies, "But I'm a big boy." He's constantly telling us he's a "big" or "little" boy, depending on how the situation suits him best.
• Shortly after Hailey was born we were all sitting on the couch. Hayden asks me, "Mom can we give her away today?"
• When Jason dropped Hayden off at school there was a puzzle with a women with long brown hair. Hayden points at it and exclaims, "Look Dad, it's Jesus!"
• Snow papa recently got in a minor car accident. I told Hayden we need to call snow papa when we get home. Hayden said "I love him! I miss him. Can we see him? But I don't want him to drive." Snow grandma concurs Hayden.
• While in Costco, a rather large man passes us in the aisle. Hayden exclaims loudly, "Mommy he smells!"
• After discipling Hayden for not being obedient: MOM: "Hayden you need to learn that mom and dad are in charge." HAYDEN: "But I want to be in charge! Can't we all be in charge." MOM: "Sorry bud."
• I dropped Hayden off at school shortly after Hailey was born. Hailey's in my arms and I'm talking to the teacher. Hayden interrupts us and announces to the class, "And the baby drinks from mommies boobs!"
• Hayden likes to practice his negotiating/manipulating skills. HAYDEN: "Mom, can you go get me my cars in my room?" MOM: "No, you can go get it yourself." HAYDEN: "Why? Because I have arms and legs?" MOM: "Yes, that's one reason." HAYDEN:"Why don't you just show me where they're at?" MOM: "No Hayden, you know where they are." HAYDEN: "Ok, I'll go ask Dad." DAD: "No, Hayden you're a big boy." HAYDEN: "But I have such little legs. See- they are soooo little!"